Thoughts on Raising Boys...Part Three...Gifted

One Christmas, thirty-two years ago, my mother-in-law, Therese,  gave her grandsons two very different gifts.  Peter Kye received books and Tyler, art materials which included a professional easel, crayons, drawing pencils, and a "gum" eraser (something I had never even heard of before that moment.  Anyone who has ever played "Draw Something" with me knows my children did not get their drawing abilities from this set of DNA) along with all the paper he could possibly need.   She KNEW those two grandsons of hers.  She knew Peter had been interested in books since he was a baby, had already learned to read at five and by nine would be reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  She watched Tyler and saw his artistic abilities and though he was a rebel to any other boundary, he colored beautifully in the lines.  Not only that, by the time he was three, he was printing his alphabet perfectly on a chalkboard even though he had no clue what he was drawing.  She was a student of her grandchildren and was well aware of their giftings and encouraged them as best as she could for as long as she lived.  My boys excelled in these areas, in large part, because they had this woman in their lives.  It just shows the incredible power of encouragement.

All boys have God-given talents and gifts.  Some of these are obvious like playing a musical instrument or athletic abilities, but some are either subtle or hidden amongst the negative aspects and acting out of a boy's temperament.  Like Joseph, who was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD.  His mom could not, for the life of her, figure out any gifts Joseph had besides home demolition or auto dismantling.  But one afternoon, Peter met Joseph and later when he talked with Joseph's mom, he told her he could plainly see one of Joseph's gifts in just the few moments he had spent with him.  Peter saw that Joseph had a zeal and appreciation for life that was pretty spectacular.  He loved just being alive!  He loved people, church, playing on the playground...just about anyone and anything.  This zeal could be a powerful and positive attribute in Joseph's life if he learned to have the self-control to know when to let that zeal loose and when to tone it down a bit.  Once Joseph's mom learned to appreciate her son's gift in this area, she saw his exuberance in a different light and even joined in sometimes.  It wasn't as annoying as it had been because HER attitude changed.  And she wasn't nearly so impatient when teaching and training, coaching and disciplining him to a place a self-control, because she saw it more as training toward something good rather than getting out something bad.

Sometimes we have to actively seek to be aware of our sons' unique gifts and abilities.  Ask God to open your eyes to all the good He put in your boy. If you still can't see it...ask his Nana:)  Nanas always see the good in their grandchildren:)  Once you have identified his admirable God-given gifts and abilities...coach the good.  That is exactly what Grandma Therese was doing in Tyler and Peter's lives.  If you have a boy who loves to work with his hands, get some building materials and train him to hammer a nail, it will save your walls and furniture.  If you have one who is interested in insects, purchase some field guides, a magnifying glass, a couple of bug viewers and always have empty jars on stand-by for their conquests. Is he interested in music?  For heaven's sake, "fan that flame!"  You could have a future worship leader or orchestra musician on your hands!   The options are endless because the giftings are endless as well.  

Here's the danger of not seeing the good in your son.  You can develop a critical attitude that can spread to other members of the family.  The "problem child" begins to feel "outside" of the family.  Expectations of bad behavior become the norm so an unhealthy cycle or pattern develops...we expect it, they do it, and they get punished.  WHENEVER something happens in a family, the "go to goat" is the "toublemaker."  The troublemaker will some times acquiese to something they didn't even do just because they don't think anyone will be believe otherwise.  They become more and more emotionally isolated which will lead to physical isolation later.  

In the book Six Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy, Dannah Gresh, spends three chapters explaining the importance of staying connected to your boy.  From the very beginning, connecting with the parents is vital, not only to them emtionally, but now they are finding out through reasearch it helps with the brain's development and with physical health as well.  Staying connected as a family will create strong family values and an identity that will serve as protection against outside influences as your boy grows into young manhood.  Dannah calls this "intentional togetherness."  One of the key ingredients to family connectedness is the ability of family members to love and appreciate each other and the gifts they bring to the family as a whole.

As a family, we are delighted in Peter Kye's ability to remember EVERY word to the songs for EVERY Disney movie produced and could, at any moment, break-out with his version of "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid or "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins at family gatherings.  We love the puns he creates to share with us through text and Facebook posts.  And Ty...well, he is still always a surprise and every bit as mischievous as he was as a boy.  And we love it!  He finds a way to always be Ty...He will keep his feet firmly planted while the photogragher is asking everyone in the bridal party to jump and have at the top of his Amazon "wish list" a "shocking pen."  Humor is a gift BOTH my boys have and one we have all enjoyed as Thompson family members.  Some of the quirkiest gifts are the most fun:)

Open your eyes and find reasons to delight in your son's gifts.  Peter, my husband, calls this "parenting up."  Coach, love, appreciate, delight in and "parent up" to the gifts and abilities you see in your boy and he will flourish! 

We are praying for you...

Cherri, Peter, Chris and Kathy

Thoughts on Raising Boys-- Part Two--Testosterone

Peter and I have been blessed with six children in our nearly thirty-seven years of marriage.  We have two sons and four daughters ranging in age from thirty-five to twenty years old.  Throughout the years we have been asked:  "Which were more difficult to raise...the boys or the girls?"  While raising them, it depended when the question was asked, what the answer would be.  It changed...flipped back and forth, shifting with the various seasons of raising these six.  Now that it is all behind us, we can say, without hestitation and without a doubt...both.  Raising boys was difficult and so was raising our girls, but in vastly different ways and at different times, because (and here is our first point)...


Boys are different from girls...

Most of you are thinking about now..."Please don't waste my time on the obvious," but hear us out for a moment.  In a culture where lines are being blurred between the sexes, we need to bring back some distinction for both our boys' and girls' sakes.  Back when it was "in" for men to "get in touch with their feminine side," Peter used to say, "Sorry, impossible.  That part was taken  when God removed the rib from Adam to make Eve.  My feminine side doesn't reside in me anymore:)"  Though he did not encourage our two boys to get in touch with their "feminine side," he most assuredly encouraged them to be sensitive to others, gentle to our pets and their younger sisters, and to show concern, care and love for family members and friends.  (All these attributes,  sensitivity, concern, care, love and many more, are taught day after day first through example and then by instruction.) Just because we want our boys to be just that...BOYS, does not exclude them from being kindhearted.  

Times are changing, my sweet parents.  Things we never thought we would have to address like allowing and encouraging your boys to grow up masculine, need to be talked about because of societal changes.  Now we have mothers who intentionally move their sons toward becoming gay.  My daughter told me about a young man in her Bible study who had such a mother.  He remembers glancing at a store window as he and his mom walked down a street.  She looked and saw that a dress was in the window and bent to her young son and said, "You are looking at that dress because you are gay, and that's ok."  (We will talk about the power of a mom and her words in a later post.)  There are entire studies out about the emasculating of the males in our society...some believing it for the good and others for the bad of our culture, but no one denying that it isn't true.  Sadly, the women's movement for all the good it did for women...and it did do some good, stole something valuable from our men by demeaning the very essence of who they are...their masculinity and in essence robbed us as women and as a culture as well.  We need men to be men.

Let me give you just a little unscientific but very real study that my daughter did for her statics class in college. Each student in this class had to make up their own study and gather their own statics and then present the statistics and the study in class.  Kirsti decided to ask "mirrored" questions to the junior boys and the girls on her campus.  The most telling questions was:  "Do you have a plan for the next four years?"  The answers were staggering...Nearly all the boys said they had "no" plans for the future.  Some added underneath their checked "no"  that they just wanted to surf and skateboard.  One said there was plenty of time to "get serious" in the future, but now was the time to "have fun and party."  The girls?  A totally different story...Nearly all the girls had a plan.  They had jobs or internships, were thinking toward grad school or careers, marriage and family.  Even more stunning is the fact that this was not a secular college.  This was Azusa Pacific, a Christian college, for crying out loud!  Granted, Kirsti did not ask every junior at Azusa, but I can tell you as a junior high and high school teacher and librarian over the past 20+ years, I have seen the same phenomenom.  Boys are growing less responsible, less apt to lead, less aggressive in their studies and pursuit of just about anything.  Not ALL boys are like this, but a growing majority are.  We've got to change that.  We NEED our boys to find the desire to lead, to excel, to be courageous, to tap into that God given male hormone that creates such a difference between the sexes.
 
The big reason they are so different and the undeniable truth is boys, unlike girls, are continually bathed in testosterone from the beginning, and testosterone makes our boys aggressive, adventurous, rough and tumble, risk-taking, and high energy...needing, not only a mission, but to be the hero of the mission as well. LOVE the fact that your boy is crazy busy, Love the fact that he is going from one adventure to the next, Love that he is so different from the girls around him, and please...encourage him to be the boy that he is.  

Alrighty, I have probably jumped up and down on that soap box long enough.   So let's move on to another thought:

Boys are different from each other...

All have testosterone flowing through their systems, but all boys have different temperaments and personalities with varying intensities of each.  In my first post I mentioned the great difference between my two, Peter and Tyler.  Both my boys loved to do "boy stuff."  They made car noises, jumped off their top bunk into a blanket-lined toy box, caught bugs, lizards, and snakes.  They climbed trees, got good and dirty ALL THE TIME, played lots of sports, terrorized their sisters and enjoyed HOURS of wrestling together.  But think about the difference testosterone made in Peter Kye's people-loving personality and calm, laid-back demeanor from the same hormone bathing Ty's angry, aggressive, strong-will.  Add testosterone to a strong-willed or easily angered boy and you have, well...some "trouble" coming your way.  Tyler had a great deal more difficulty in keeping himself and his actions under control.  Guess who received more swats and time-outs because he needed them?  You will have to parent differently because all boys, even your own sons, are not the same.  One might be more motivated to make better choices by being isolated, while another needs a swat on the backside, or maybe even both.  You may need to teach the same lesson over and over to one, while the other takes your correction the first time.  Whatever it is that you have found works to help train your boy, the two most  important ingredients for all are selfless love and consistency.  Your motive to have a well-behaved boy cannot be so you will "look good" or so you won't "be embarrassed." It cannot be "you" focused.  It has to be for the sake of your son...for the good of his character, his future, and his relationship with God.  And then prayerfully create a plan and stick to it.

 Your boy may have trouble with self-control.  He may be strong-willed, have ADD, ADHD, have anger issues like my Ty, or have pure testosterone flowing through his veins instead of blood...all of these might be true, but your family standards and values STILL remain intact.  You DO NOT lower your standards and values to the lowest common denominator in your family.  This will cause problems you just don't want to have when your boy gets older.  I loved what my husband, Peter, said the other night when answering a question from the parent of a strong-willed toddler...He said you can train a twenty pound toddler to learn to have self-control a whole lot easier than a 180 pound, six foot teenager.  So profound and SO true. Teach him self-control early.

So let me leave you with this thought.  Your boy is supposed to be busy, and I won't lie to you...raising a boy is exhausting and frustrating and downright terrifying at times, but I wouldn't trade one moment of raising my two very active boys for years of ease or peace and quiet.  They are worth every crazy second I survived:) 

Please be encouraged!!  We want you to know that our prayers are with you as your raise your boys into godly men because this world NEEDS them!

Praying for you precious families,

Cherri...Peter, Chris and Kathy too

PS  We would LOVE to hear some of your stories about your boy's adventures or misadventures!!  PLEASE send your stories to parenting@desertvineyard.org.  With your permission we would like to share them on the blog:)  

Thoughts On Raising Boys--Part One--Intro

As a young wife, I asked the Lord to give me sons first.  I dearly wanted "big brothers" for my family, so in 1977, God graciously answered my prayer and gave Peter and me a son, Peter Kye, and again in April of 1980,  He gave us our second son, Tyler.   Two more diverse boys could not have been born into one family. Peter Kye was born with a laid-back, mellow personality.  He was a "lover" and adapted to new people and new surroundings with ease.  Peter Kye's sweet disposition and desire to please, made him a pretty easy baby.  Not so much our red-haired Ty.  He was born ticked-off.  He most assuredly DID NOT like new people or new surroundings and there was NOTHING laid-back or mellow about him in the least.  At six weeks old I wrote in my journal:  "Tyler looks like he can hardly wait to get out of that baby body of his.  He acts as if he has things to do, and I swear, he has this mischievous twinkle in his eyes."   In that moment, I had no idea how right I was.  I was not prepared for how different it would be...from the beginning...when it came to raising these two boys.  

As different as these two were and still are, looking back, Peter and I clearly see and appreciate God's goodness to us in giving us these two very unique "patriarchs" of the Thompson brood.  They both brought an identity and a "flavor" to Thompson family life that has given us all precious memories, much laughter along the way, and legendary antics that have gone down in Thompson folklore.  I wish I could say that Peter and I did it right from the beginning, but that simply would not be true.  We were definitely NOT perfect parents to these boys of ours, but we learned a lot, and both our boys, even inspite of our failings, turned out to be excellent men, husbands, fathers, employees, bosses, and leaders.  

As older and wiser parents and now grandparents, we are honored that God has allowed us to speak to young families about what worked and didn't work, where we succeeded and where we just plain blew it, in an effort to help and encourage them as they raise up their own families.  Peter and I love this redeeming Savior we serve and realize one of His greatest beauties is that He is able to redeem our mistakes, our flaws, and our failings, and for this, we are ever grateful.

Over the next two weeks, we will be bringing to you some thoughts on raising boys into godly young men.  These points are adapted from one of the "Anything Chocolate Parents' Timeout" sessions we had at our church.  We realized the information given during our "Raising Godly Men" session was much like being blasted in the face with a "word" fire hose, so we thought we'd turn the intensity down a bit and give you two or three points at a time here on the blog and allow you a little time to think and process.  

Please remember your questions are always welcome at our e-mail:  parenting@desertvineyard.org.  

Praying for you and your precious families...

Cherri...Peter, Chris and Kathy too

Creating Grateful Hearts

Thanksgiving season is the perfect time to start creating an "attitude of gratitude" in our families.  Usually Thanksgiving Day is our catalyst to show gratitude to God for all He has given throughout the year, but I hope to stretch your thoughts on the importance and the just plain goodness of developing hearts that are grateful everyday...and not just in our children!  We need to shift our focus.  So often being grateful has more to do with "seeing" rather than being a recipient of some gift or service.  In this post I would like to give you a few ideas to help you and your family see with grateful eyes.  Peter, Chris, Kathy and I LOVE practical applications to parenting principals that create happy, healthy, and, in this case, grateful families, so toward the end, I will share some ideas to help you with this task.  But before we begin, I would like to share with you the results of study I found interesting from the book, Thanks!  How the Attitude of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, by Dr. Robert Emmons.

Six Reasons Why it is Important to Create Gratitude in Our Children

1.  It creates better attitudes:  Children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and their families.

2.  It Helps Our Children Achieve Personal Goals:  Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal, and health-based) over a two-month period.

3.  It Creates Closer Relationships and Greater Happiness:  Professor Froh (one of Dr. Emmons colleagues) infused middle school classes with a small dose of a gratitude awareness through a guided exercise each day and found that it made students feel more connected to their friends, family and their school.  "By the follow-up three weeks later, students who had been instructed to count their blessings showed more gratitude in general; it was also related to feeling better about life and school.  Indeed, compared with students in the control groups, students who counted their blessings reported better satisfaction with school both immediately after the two-week exercise and at the three-week follow-up"

4.  It Results in Better Grades:  Sixth to seventh graders who kept a gratitude journal for only three weeks, had an increased grade point average over a year.

5.  It Creates Better Energy, Attentiveness and Enthusiasm:  A daily intervention of gratitude (through self-guided exercises) with young adults, resulted in higher reported levels of positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy.

6.  It Creates Better Sensitivity: Children who kept gratitude journals were more sensitive to situations where they themselves could be helpful, generous, and compassionate and were less destructive.

On the other hand, research shows that those who are ungrateful are "less satisfied with their lives and are more apt to be aggressive and engage in risk-taking behaviors, such as early and frequent promiscuous activities, substance abuse, poor eating habits, physical inactivity, and poor academics."


I have to say, from this research it sounds as if an "attitude of gratitude" could cure the common cold:)  The truth is gratitude makes us feel great, it creates in us an "others focus" and then motivates us to want to do good ourselves.  I love one particular part in Dr. Emmons book when he makes a very profound point.  He says gratitude is the one human feeling that is completely focused on others.  You can be pleased, angry, proud and even love yourself, but you never hear anyone say how grateful they are to themselves.  Even when treating yourself to something wonderful, it would be downright weird and bizarre to thank yourself:)  "Gratitude is always delivered outward to the giver of gifts."

Pondering all of this caused me to realize how important it is to not only begin creating grateful hearts in all members of the family this Thanksgiving, but to keep it all year...all of our lives.  It is good for us...relationally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and evidently, even good for our physical health.  On so many levels, gratitude is one of the easiest ways to change our lives in a very positive way.  So let me give you just a few practical ideas to begin adding a little gratitude to our everyday lives.

1.  One idea I found was to create a "garden of gratitude" with flower-shaped sticky notes.  Each time you think of something or someone to be thankful for, you write it on a sticky note and put it on a window.  Kids LOVE watching their garden "grow" and will be looking for "thankful" things to "grow" in their garden of gratitude.  Like I said, we are all about the practical, so here is a link to Amazon for flower sticky notes: http://www.amazon.com/Post--Sticky-Shapes-2-Count-7350-FLR/dp/B002LNBE2M/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1351132726&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=tulip+sticky+notes

2.  Another great idea, especially for older children, is to have a family gratitude journal.  Leave a blank, spiral-bound journal out in a prominent place such as the dining room, kitchen or living room coffee table with a couple of colorful pens.  Throughout the week family members are encouraged to write in the journal what they are thankful for.  Every couple weeks bring the journal to the table and talk over the blessings that have come in the past weeks.   Involvement of mom and dad in this exercise is particularly important.  When older kids see their parents writing in the journal, they are much more likely to participate.  It is fun to invite those who visit your home to write something they are grateful for in your journal as well.  Peter and I started a gratitude journal even though we have no children at home anymore.  The first entry for me:  "I am GRATEFUL I passed an 'in home osteoporosis test' given by Ben and Livvie (my two Australian Shepherd dogs).  I can still land on my bum from four feet in the air and not break a hip!" No broken bones, but as Peter says..."That's going to leave a bruise." :)  It did.

3.  Leave out a basket of thank you notes, pens and stamps and encourage your children to write out short notes of appreciation to others who have blessed them. Many times we truly have the right heart to show gratitude to others, but lose the thought after a few days.  When the all that is necessary to show thanks is readily available, it is much more likely to get done.  


There is one final practical, fun Thanksgiving idea I would like to share with you.  Most turkeys during the Thanksgiving season are not very thankful, but I want to introduce you to one very grateful turkey....

This is a fun project you can start at the beginning of the Thanksgiving season.  What you need is some card stock, colorful feathers, crayons or markers and your hands.  Everyone in the family traces their hand on a piece of card stock and creates a naked;) turkey from their hand.  Give each family member a baggy full of colorful feathers and explain that throughout the next few weeks their job is to look for ways to bless other family members.  When they do something for a brother, sister, mom or dad, they leave a feather behind. You might need to help little ones think of ways to serve and bless.  It doesn't have to be "big" things.  It can be doing a chore for a busy sibling, bringing dad his coffee in the morning, helping mom with dishes, even giving preference...letting a sibling have the first or the biggest.  It is ANYTHING that says "I thought of you."  In the evening the family gathers to tell how they had been blessed during the day and glue their feathers onto their turkey.  By Thanksgiving Day they should have a pretty awesome looking turkey that will remind them of all they have to be grateful for.  It occurred to me that you could turn these delightful and colorful little guys into a Thanksgiving meal place card.

Just put your name along the bottom of the card instead of the side like I did.  

One last thought before I close this post down...Pray for your family.  Pray specifically that they would have grateful hearts toward others but even more importantly, toward Him who is the Great Giver of Every Good and Perfect Gift.  Ask Him to remind you to be grateful throughout your day...everyday.  Tell Him how much you want yourself and your family to be a light of gratitude in this world.  Believe me these are prayers He LOVES to answer:)  


The more we practice seeing through grateful eyes, the more gratitude will become part of the personality of our families. 

Please feel free to send pictures and your "Thanksgiving stories" to parenting@desertvineyard.org.  We would love to hear from you!

With love and gratitude:)

Cherri...Peter, Chris and Kathy, too!
 

The Importance of Teaching Manners

Imagine this:  You and your husband have finally reached the milestone of twenty-five years of marriage and your husband, being the sweet guy he is, has planned a lovely dinner at an upscale restaurant.  Everything is perfect...you have a new dress and your man is looking better than ever.  All week long you have looked forward to this evening.  You arrive at the restaurant and are shown your lovely table overlooking the ocean and you begin a memorable night.  Shortly after you sit down, a family of four is shown to their seats and you smile politely as the young family gets settled in.  However, it doesn't take long to realize the night will be memorable, but not in the way you had ever imagined.  The children, who look to be around seven to ten years old, begin the night by bickering...glasses are knocked to the ground and broken and water douses your purse.  You rush to rescue the contents of your bag while parents jockey positions at the table to cease the destruction.  As the evening wears on and I mean W-E-A-R-S on, the children whine and complain about the food, are rude, loud and obnoxious to not only their parents, but to the servers as well; and, above it all, are the voices of desperate, pleading parents demanding, bribing, and, in the end, begging their children to behave.  When finally this family walks out the door, the entire restaurant--patrons and staff--heave a collective sigh of relief.  Yes, indeed, the night was memorable.

Let me give you the "flip-side" to this experience...I was struggling one day to set-up a parenting event at our church when two voices behind me said:  "Mrs. Thompson, do you need help?"  In that moment, my heart was warmed by the sensitivity and concern my sweet little friends, Betty and Peter, had toward me.  These two, as wonderful as they are, where not born this way.  You can bet their parents, Jenny and Wes, have spent a lot of time teaching these two dear ones to value others...to look for opportunities to be polite and sensitive.  And here's our job as adults in these children's lives, when you have a situation come up such as this, make sure you have something they can do for you.  Let  them bless you...Let them serve you...Let them practice this important life skill of giving value to others.

Here is the "thing" about manners---they give value to others.   Manners are simply the practical way we have to show people in our lives or who are following behind we believe they have value.  Think about it...aren't all manners basically "others focused"?  When you teach a child to honor the elderly by giving up their seat or their place in line, you teach that the elderly have value.  When you teach children to clean up their own messes, you are teaching that those who come after you have value.  When you teach your children table manners and how to behave when dining out, you are teaching that those who are dining out around you and the servers who are serving you have value.  When you teach your children to communicate with others by looking at them and giving a polite response, you are teaching them that people are worthy of their attention which gives value to the one they are speaking to.

Manners are probably one of the best tools we have to teach our children to get their eyes off themselves and onto others.  The beauty of teaching manners is that it can be a daily routine.  Good manners are used EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE, including and especially in the home.  We are fortunate to have some wonderful books to help with teaching manners because here is the sobering truth:  Somewhere along the way, something that had been taught for ages, got dropped from the "parenting to do list."  I am sure there are historians who have entire papers and probably even books to explain the "why" and "how" of this phenomenon, but for our purposes here, it doesn't really matter.  What does matter is that we, as parents, take seriously the charge to bring back to our families this very important aspect of parenting.  For many of us it doesn't come naturally, and I am speaking for myself here, but fortunately, we have wonderful resources to give us guidance as we learn manners along with our children.  Here are two of my favorites:



 

Both these books have wonderful, interactive and fun ways to teach manners to young children.  


 Before I end this post, I have to share with you a cute scene from the movie Blast From the Past.  The plot line of the story is that a family in the early 60s, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, because of a nearby plane crash, believes the worst has happened, so they retreat to their bomb shelter where they stay for thirty years until their food runs out.  They send their grown son (Brendan Fraser) out to forage for food in what they believe is a post-nuclear disaster world.    Of course, what their son finds is a modern world and culture that is far from what he has been taught by his parents for the past thirty years, and he is so thoughtful, mannerly and kind the people around him think he is just bizarre or crazy.  So I close with this clip from the movie....

Boise!

Peter, Chris, Kathy and I got back EARLY monday morning from a wonderful time with our old and new friends at the Boise Vineyard!  It was an honor and a complete delight to be asked to give to these precious families some of what we have learned through the years sometimes through trial, sometimes through error, but always through our Savior's good and kind grace.   It truly was a blessed time for us as older parents to see the desire these parents have to gather as many tools as possible to raise their children as best as they possibly can.  We were inspired by their humility, hunger to know more, and the warmth they showed to us and to each other.  We are grateful for the five days we spent in Idaho! 


In the weeks ahead we will be addressing some of the questions and parenting issues brought up while we were in Boise.  Peter was brilliant enough to rescue the question cards from the table before they were thrown away!  We look forward to spending time with you on the pages of this blog!  Until then we pray that your family is blessed! 


With our love and prayers...


Cherri

Welcome to the Together We Are One Wise Parent Blog!!!

Hello! 


You have either found this blog on purpose or have stumbled upon it, either way, we are happy to have you here.  If there is one thing Peter, Chris, Kathy and I have learned over the past 27 years teaching parenting classes at our church, the Desert Vineyard, it is the incredible growth that comes from simply "talking things out."  So often during the Q and A segment of our classes, great ideas and parenting wisdom is given by participants in the class.  Many times other parents have been where you are and been successful, or maybe even not so successful and their experiences can help through advice, support and compassion.  We have found this to be invaluable for our families.  It is always so good to know that someone else understands what you are going through...that you are not alone.  For years we have desired a way to keep this kind of support system going after the classes are over, so finally, we have started this blog to connect not only us with you, but you with each other.  


We will be writing often about different topics of interest to parents, giving links to informative and helpful websites, writing book reviews and, from time to time, having guests write posts on their particular area of expertise.  We hope to have pages up soon specifically for single parents and blended families.  Please feel free to leave comments on the various posts.  


We are looking forward to meeting you on the pages of this blog.  Until then, we pray that your family is blessed.


Cherri